Gravity

I'm going to Japan in a little over two weeks. Up until about this weekend I hadn't really thought much about it. My excitedness peaked once around March and then again around July when I got my acceptance letter. But during all the times in between I've kind of been swimming in apathy, probably just because of the sheer length of waiting and with all the assignments and work I've had to keep me occupied.

But all that's changed within the last few days and the gravity of this situation is really starting to sink in. And this is the first time I've felt any sort of anxiety about this. But it's not the being in Japan part, it's about everything I'm leaving behind.

It's happened while I've been organising catch up sessions with friends. Many of my friends are finishing up this year and I'm kind of struggling with the idea that I may not see many of them for a long time (if ever!). I'm thinking about my family who I'm leaving behind and I'm especially gonna miss my little brother. He's the most awesome kid I know.

It's funny because my longing to go overseas was largely motivated by the fact that I would be taking a break from life here, but I suspect it's just cold feet.

I am as of today, zero percent packed; still apathetic; and I suspect I will be doing a rush job in the two-three days leading up to my flight on the 15th. I have yet to also scratch up on the Japanese skills ever since my course finished two months ago. ざんねんですが全部忘れちゃったんだ．