I knew that the language barrier would probably be the most difficult
part of my stay here. Not being able to communicate is probably one of the most
debilitating handicaps you could have - imagine not being able to interact with
others in the way you want to.
I started studying German about a year ago in anticipation
of this move, but I knew of course that it would only get me so far. The 90
minute 'immersion' course you do once a week is nothing compared to when you
arrive in actual Germany. Then you understand what real immersion is like - no
'get out of jail' cards when you get stuck and want to switch back to English!
I've had this experience before when I moved to Tokyo. I
thought having had this experience already would make this transition easy, but
as I've found out, it hasn't been quite the same.
Firstly there is a big difference between having the
language barrier as a student, and as a worker. As a student you're in an
environment where people know and understand you are trying to learn the
language. You get a lot of leeway, and people are generally more patient and
have more time for you.
At work, people generally want to get things done. As much
as people say they would like to help if I wanted to speak in German, it starts
to feel a little bit selfish to take away too much of their time fumbling over
broken German - especially when many of them are very good - fluent even - in
German.
"But you'll never better if you don't even try!" I
hear you say.
I get it. It's a balance. I'm trying to find this and have
recently started making more of an effort to try even when it feels super
uncomfortable.
Another difference is the cultural aspect. In Japan, you get
instant gratification for just trying. You only have to say as much as arigato gozaimasu, to get "nihongo jyouzu ne!" in return ("your
Japanese is so good!"), even if you butcher the pronunciation, and if you
bow deeply with your palms flexed together Buddhist-style. Whether or not the
compliment is sincere is a different topic though ;)
You could say that the Germans are more direct and truthful
- which in my experience feels like the case. But that doesn't mean to say that
they can't also be happy for you for attempting to speak German. When they tell
you that your German is nicht schlecht,
or even doch wirklich sehr gut, they usually mean what they
say. If they look annoyed or scoff at you, then they mean it too. But my
workplace, people are generally the kind of people who are very happy to help
and I'm happy about this.
I've written this post over a couple of days and was going
to say that because of this difference, it is harder to have confidence to
speak German, because you can meet people who are short with you and give you a
negative response. But over the last days I've changed my mind. I've been in
too many situations where speaking in German (or trying to) has been generally
met with a positive response. Sure you don't get positive feedback every time,
but you do get positive feedback!
To share some interesting anecdotes, what I consider to be
my first fully German conversation (a rally of 4/5 sentences each!) with a
stranger was with the girl at the sushi shop, who herself was Vietnamese (but
grew up in Germany). She recognised me the second time I visited and asked me
where I was from. The conversation flowed well and it was a great feeling.
I had another 8 minute phone conversation with a girl whose
flat I was wanting to look at, but when I got to the address she gave, I
couldn't find the place. I was running up and down the road trying to describe
my surroundings in German using the very few simple words coming to mind, and
only understanding a quarter of what she was asking/saying back to me. "Ich
bin vor dem(?) Garage? Der Ort
wo mann das Auto... fixen...? (kann)"
Another story from a work meet-and-greet the newbies -
picture this - a Kiwi, Frenchman and Russian start to speak to each other all in
broken German. It was pretty funny joke.
For those who have spent any time in a country whose
language they couldn't speak - and for those who haven't had this experience
and are apprehensive about it - I do have to also talk about this issue of becoming
a deer in the headlights, or "the yes man".
You know - you've been staring at the menu for a good 15
minutes, meanwhile reciting exactly what you are going to say, over and over
again. You've even anticipated what they might say and start preparing and
reciting possible responses. You go to the counter.
"Uhh... ein Big Mac bitte... Nummer 3...?"
"**sthg I can't understand** Menu?" (I think she's asking if I want the combo. Yes, I know
what to say! [I think])
"Uhh... ja danke." (Ok, not exactly what I had
planned to say, but it'll do.)
"**still can't understand**"
"uh..."
"Cola?"
(Oh, I get it. Wish I knew what she had said though.)
"Oh. Ja bitte."
"**sthg else incomprehensible**"
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."
(Yeah, I give up) "...ja, danke" (I hope I didn't just agree to sell
my kidney.)
*puts ketchup on my tray* (Oh.)
I have to say that this has happened way more times than the
more positive stories above. It can be incredibly disheartening, and when I
started writing this post I was in a kind of negative space. But the thing I
learned is that because of the way the world works, this will of course happen
way more in the beginning. It seems like a catch-22 (need confidence to try,
but when you try, you end up losing confidence), but somehow it's not really
true.
As simple and boring as it sounds, you just have to try. And
every failure is actually a learning experience - even if you feel like you've
learned nothing. You might be a deer in the headlights, but the truck heading towards you is completely imaginary.
Don't worry about looking stupid either. Because you will
look stupid and (many) people will think you are stupid or a foreigner (with
possible negative connotations). For the strangers you will never see again,
you will probably never see them again. And for those you might deal with
often, they'll see your improvement, and one day (have patience!) will tell you
a nice story about how you arrived looking so lost and are now a million miles
from there.
Every day I learn more, and from day 1, understanding maybe
2%, and today after three weeks here, now at 7% or so :)
My company was supposed to organise language classes for me,
but this has been a bit of a mission. Apparently they can't find an appropriate
language school/course for me that has availability. No German teachers in
Germany? Apparently it's true! They are still working on this and will update
again when I learn more. In the mean time, language learning blogs and Duolingo
should tide me over.
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